19 November 2009
by 
22 CommentsJust stopping by? Have you entered my latest contest (over a $200 value)? Or maybe you’d like to try your hand at my chocolate-covered raisin hemp balls or raw tuna fish-less salad.
You might remember the Excalibur dehydrator I was sent to review. I’ve been experimenting with it – just hadn’t posted about my adventures. Why? I’ve had quite a few “Raw Flops" goin’ on around here. Yep.
Upon a reader’s request (thanks, Beth!) I’ll be sharing my (un)cooking disasters in the new category: Raw Flops. But don’t worry, I have some rawsome stuff comin’ up, too!
And… here’s a story written in third person. Why? I guess I just kinda felt like writing about myself that way as I reflected on this dehydrating disaster. 
Raw Juice Girl’s Flax Flop
Once upon a time, in a raw fantasy world, lived a gal who dreamt of creating the bestest raw flax seed crackers ever. She put her flax seeds to soakin’ while thinking about all those health benefits: omegas, manganese, fiber, folate, copper, magnesium, phosphorus, and Vitamin B6.
Those beautiful little seeds gettin’ their soak on just screamed healthy heart, blood pressure, bones, hair, skin, nails, colon, and so much more—like fighting cancer, diabetes, dry eyes, and hot flashes.
Oh my!
<insert dreamy (healthy) eyes here>
The Raw Food Revolution Diet
It felt like DAYS waiting the 8 hours for those seeds to soak. *looks around* Where’d Raw Juice Girl’s patience go? Someone stole it!
Cherie’s recipe called for 4 cups of chopped bell pepper (or tomato). Raw Juice Girl had neither so she used raw broccoli slaw instead. Oh, joy! 
Next up, raw zucchini. Nope, none of that either! Enter: diced, raw apple.
Blend it all up, Cherie says.
Um, it looks like puke. That’s what she said.
Gotta have some seasoning! Yay for HimalaSalt samples (again, free – yummy – samples Raw Juice Girl was sent for review)…
Organic garlic salt
Pink Himalayan Sea Salt
Stir it all up!
Smear it on the dehydrator tray (with a liner).
Close-up
Score the mixture to make separated cracker lines.
The house smelled sooooooooooooooooo good while these crackers were (un)cooking!
105* for 12 hours, Cherie says
Raw Juice Girl leaped out of bed the next morning, with bright eyes and pep to her step. She ran into the kitchen like a child on Christmas morning expecting shiny, new flax seed crackers ready for flippin’.
Imagine her surprise when she opened the Dehydrator door and found this:
Flax Crackers Stuck to Wax Paper!!!
Raw Juice Girl wanted to just cry… 
And the saddest part? Raw Juice Girl managed to break off a teeny piece of cracker (without waxed paper attached!) and it tasted REALLY good.
*sigh*
The moral of this story, folks, is that Raw Juice Girl shoulda used parchment paper or waited ‘till she got some Excalibur non-stick, reusable sheets.
She was so blasted mad at that wax paper, she thought about eatin’ it but didn’t have an appetite after finding her ruined crackers! Humph!
See, Raw Juice Girl is real. She makes mistakes. She doesn’t have all the raw food stuff figured out. She’ll be your guinea pig, though. You can learn from her mistakes and get a few laughs along the way…
Stay tuned for more Raw Flops. This is a new category featuring Raw Juice Girl’s bloopers. You won’t want to miss a single post!
Resources:
WH Foods: Flax Seeds
sooooo sorry about your flops. cooking is learning though and apparently, you’ve been doing lots of “learning”
tefflex sheets are like 8 bucks a piece. Get some! You cannot attempt crackers or macaroons or cookies without them. You will have seepage and dripage and stickage all over. So sorry i know how awful it feels….all that time, work, money on ingredients, wasted. Hang in there
Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga)´s last blog ..Shopping: Lulu & Espresso Maker
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Raw Juice Girl Reply:
November 19th, 2009 at 9:09 pm
Thanks for the support, Averie! I am quite stubborn, so of course, I’ll try again and again ’till I get it right but it’s just aggravating. I think I’m more mad at myself than anything else. But who’d have thought wax paper would stick??!!! Ugh.
Anyway, I appreciate ya girl!
Hugs,
Michele
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Sorry about your sheets. Though the crackers look good. And your right we all make mistakes. It happens
Pure2Raw Twins´s last blog ..20 Reasons to be Vegan
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Raw Juice Girl Reply:
November 19th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Thanks! I do believe it’s a wonderful recipe – even though I had to substitute stuff. They would’ve tasted really, really good. Ah well, live and learn! LOL
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Indeed live and learn AND learning to get over mistakes is part of it too. However I feel for you, because it was a lot of work and then this!
Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Ann-Marie on Intimacy on Blogs
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Raw Juice Girl Reply:
November 19th, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Thanks, Wilma! I wasn’t going to share this and then my friend, Beth, urged me to so readers can relate and feel like they aren’t the only ones who have mishaps when trying to live this raw foodie life. So, here it is – my flops! LOL Thanks for the support!
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Yay for you! Thanks for sharing, I know it couldn’t have been easy. And now for the real question: how edible is wax paper?
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Raw Juice Girl Reply:
November 19th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Thanks, Beth! You encouraged me, so I went for it!
Um, well in small amounts it isn’t too bad! LOL
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Well, I was reading along and thinking, “Okay. Good. Yup. Sounds yummy. Nice choice.” and then I looked and looked again…and thought, “No, she didn’t just spread it on wax paper, did she?”
Oh dear. Live and learn.
Way to improvise Cherie’s recipe and make it your own though!
Seriously, worth investing in ParaFlexx sheets. On sale now! Last for years! Trust me, you’ll definitely get your money’s worth out of them. And, then you can dehydrate up a storm — crackers, cookies, fruit leathers…oh, the possibilities!
Earth Mother – In The Raw´s last blog ..Persimmons 101: Fuyu vs Hachiya
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Raw Juice Girl Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 12:11 am
Um, yep, that’d be me! *raises hand*
Such a HUGE mistake! I just never dared dream my crackers would stick!!!
I’m stubborn, though. I’m soaking more flax seeds tonight and am going to the store in the morning to get parchment paper! LOL
How long do you soak flax seeds? Do you have a favorite flax seed (or other raw) cracker recipe?
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Earth Mother – In The Raw Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
I usually soak them overnight. Since I juice daily, I’ll often make crackers with my leftover pulp. Add some flax seeds, spices and wa-la, you have a raw cracker recipe.
Earth Mother – In The Raw´s last blog ..Thanksgiving In The Raw: Take Two
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Raw Juice Girl Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
I did soak mine overnight last night. Yay!
I used to juice daily. I haven’t really been able to since moving to this farm. Amish kitchens have NOTHING in them: no cabinets, no sink, no nothing. So, it’s been an (exhausting) challenge to prepare raw foods and/or juice (or make smoothies) at all. It’s a little easier now because we do have a kitchen sink now – but still no cabinets or counters. Very frustrating, really! LOL
well you get an A+ for effort. Stuff happens. They did look good! I know you’ll be enjoying round #2 soon. YAY, I get to come say HI today from home!
Happy Thursday
Cindy´s last blog ..Gee your Hair Smells Good
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Raw Juice Girl Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 6:34 pm
Thanks, Cindy!! Round #2 is in the dehydrator as I type!! I’m sooooooooooooo praying they turn out okay. I went to town and bought parchment paper today. It’ll have to do until I can get those Teflon sheets. I also got bell peppers (which the recipe I’m going by called for). I still used apple in place of the zucchini, though. The ones at the store looked gross! Ack!
Yay for saying hi from home!!!
Hugs,
Michele
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Awww…well done effort, though – they tasted GREAT!
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Raw Juice Girl Reply:
November 20th, 2009 at 11:43 pm
Thank you so much for your sweet words!! They’re MUCH appreciated!!!
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Michele,
Just a little hitch in your giddy-up. That’s all! If the crackers tasted good at least you got a recipe out of it.
Don’t take this the wrong way, but I would LOVE to read the flops. In fact it’s given me an idea for writing about my writing flops! Hmmmm.
George
George Angus´s last blog ..A Roarin’ New Blog of the Week
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Raw Juice Girl Reply:
November 23rd, 2009 at 11:57 am
Just a little hitch in your giddy-up.
LOL – Makes me think of the hitchin’ post in front of the house. We left it so the Amish would feel welcome to stop by and visit.
So true, though. Yes, the recipe is delish and I’ve already made a new batch. These turned out and I’ll be blogging about ‘em soon!
Definitely not taken the wrong way, George. I guess it’s the same reason folks are intrigued by America’s Funniest Videos and all the bloopers they sometimes let us see at the ends of various movies. We love to see people flub up. It lets us know they’re real and they aren’t some magically perfect being. Wow. Writing flops? Now, I can’t wait to read those!
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Hi Michele,
You are a very good writer and I really enjoyed reading about your cracker crisis LOL
I need a dehydrator so bad. Do you know how I could win one?
Thanks for everything. Your youtube video was great.
Thanks,
Diane Quam
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Raw Juice Girl Reply:
April 11th, 2010 at 7:16 pm
Thank you, Diane!
You could Google “dehydrator giveaway” or something similar and search blogs for current giveaways. Sometimes blogs give away bigger items like dehydrators.
You’re most welcome – and thanks for the compliments!!
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